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“We poison our lives with fear of burglary and shipwreck, and ask anyone, the house is never burgled and the ship never goes down,” Jean Anouilh, The Rehearsal (1950)

Recently I had the opportunity to work on a film with Dr. Paul Rosch, a leading researcher on the effects of stress and our health as well as the current President of The American Institute of Stress (www.stress.org).   I learned some pretty good ideas about stress and stress management.

Stress, Dr. Rosch says is a bit of an ambiguous word. What one person finds terrifying, such as a roller coaster ride, another finds pure thrill and joy.  This also applies to everyday situations as well.  Therefore the real trick he says is controlling our fears and anxiety through our minds and actions.  Stress inoculation can occur through cognitive restructuring, learning time management skills and behavior modification.  We can redirect our thoughts and then manage the harmful effects that trickle down through our bodies.

Dr. Rosch highly recommended the use of biofeedback to help us monitor the biological effects of mental stress and then use our minds to change our thinking, relax which will then lower blood pressure, heart rate and give a sense of well-being.  Feedback thermometers, also known as PPGs, which go on the finger are an excellent way to monitor the physiological effects.   If more people practiced this, he strongly believes, there would undoubtedly be much less dependence on pharmaceutical drugs.

Of course there are other ways to manage stress.  Exercise, meditation, eating right, sleeping enough, and leaning on a friend every now and then are all good.  The idea, however, of being able to manage it on the spot through this kind of work is truly empowering.  To help me, I frequently enjoy sitting by the water, listen to the invigorating sound of it crashing against the rocks and and flowing away.  The stress just goes downstream with it.  It’s easy to feel the power of positivity when you are sitting in the beauty of nature.

This holiday season when stress strikes, I’m going to be sure to take some time out to breathe and meditate.   I’ll go to the place, whether inside or out, to make positive affirmations and relax my mind.  I will enjoy feeling the relief of the ache and anxiety subside.  As Thomas Jefferson once wrote “How much pain have cost us the evils which have never happened.”*   Yes indeed, the best way to manage stress is truly in our head.

*Written to Thomas Jefferson Smith in 1825.

Rushing Waters

“The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.” Baz Luhrmann

As I watched the snow blow and twist last Saturday in a month that generally averages ten degrees or more above freezing at night, I was struck by how many things can happen to us that we are simply not expecting.  I certainly wasn’t expecting to lose my electricity for the next six days. Nor was I  expecting to be blocked into my home by a large tree branch that came smack down across my driveway shortly after I drove in.   What I did realize, which Baz Luhrmann so aptly described, is that the things that have the most impact on your life are often the unexpected ones. 

When faced with challenges that have blind-sighted me, I always try to find the valuable experience it provides to help me cope.  After losing my electricity, heat and water as well as becoming blocked inside my home with minimal provisions, my focus like everyone else became on survival.  First there was moving the food out of my refrigerator onto my porch which was quite cold.  Then there was filling the buckets with water for flushing, bringing in plenty of wood for the fire.  Last, but certainly not least, there was the issue of getting that huge tree leader out of my driveway.  Fortunately to solve this problem I simply had to walk down my road where I found a helpful neighbor who offered to use his chain saw on it.   What a relief that a potentially monumental problem, the town said it would take days to get to me, was resolved so quickly and easily.  You can never underestimate the value of good neighbors.

It’s also important never to underestimate the value hardships have on our character and the inherent opportunities they can often provide.  Since we were out of power for such a long time, my boys were forced to live without their ever-present electronic gadgets.  Our time together was undisturbed by the intrusion of text messages, TVs, phones and games.  They learned how to build and maintain a fire, collect melting snow in buckets for flushing and even got to play out in the woods without worrying about the dreaded ticks.  We reconnected to each other.   In the end, a stressful time became a blessing that renewed our appreciation for the things we do have and for the opportunities the crisis provided.  I was reminded about this as I surveyed the huge tree blocking me in and realized it had also taken down the dreaded spray-painted stop sign that had blighted my corner for the three years I’ve lived here.   A blessing amid the turmoil and not something I would have known was coming.

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